Movie Review Kong Proves To Be A Monster Mistake
Whatever your favorite movie type, there’s one thing we all have in common when plonking butt in this movie theater seat.
We want to be entertained.
Certainly, it can take many forms – to be moved, to make you think, to make you laugh, to frighten. It is very good each to his own with this.
But at the end of the day, we want to be entertained. We don’t want to get out of this movie screen by wondering about our life choices.
What unfortunately is exactly what happens when you decide to spend a few hours with a giant monkey is a good use of your time.
(Side note, it’s not a monkey. Probably someone should have mentioned it very early)
If you do not know what to expect, if you want to ignore the warnings and see this enormity, let me describe the “conspiracy”.
Two men persuade a minister to allow them, with military help, to explore an island where things could be.
It’s just at the end of the Vietnam War, so much so that a few guys are struggling with nothing better to do.
Well, obviously, you can’t go bursting into an island while blindly and unknowingly, so hire a guy who’s the ace to explore things.
They also hire a top-class photographer. For reasons. And because.
From there, things go south and the giant creatures abound.
All in 3D if you’re really unlucky.
Well, in theory, this should be a good movie.
He has the cast after all.
Tom Hiddleston does not stand still, John Goodman has proven himself with such films, Brie Larson has an Oscar for his name, Samuel L. Jackson was good-it should work.
But this is not the matter.
Not on every level.
First director Jordan Vogt-Roberts and his team of screenwriters initially have no idea what kind of film they are trying to make.
Could Apocalypse Now, could Jurassic Park, you couldn’t decide, so went for both options-create a mash-up that you never wanted to arrive at.
Then there’s the cast.
As mentioned in our Free Fire review (also with Mrs. Larson, as it happens), you can always tell when the cast is having fun.
Similarly, you can tell if you are not.
To a man (and woman) they look confused and confused, Hiddleston clearly thinks that if it doesn’t give him the James Bond concert, his agent will be fired and Sammy J thought he would just cash the check and all the monkeys go on a plane.
There is no achievement here that comes close to being credible or credible.
And since this lot could affect the phone book in your sleep and make it visible, it must depend on the scriptwriters and the director.
There is clearly no depth to these characters. Even those who are blessed with a return story don’t know why or for what.
It is bodily exhausting to watch.
Then there is the plot itself.
The game pieces clearly came first. How people got there are far second. The result is the realization that if the authors do not care, then why should we?
The only thing that saves this abomination from the garbage pile of history is the special effects.
Kong is pretty good, though I fully expect the Third Planet of the Apes movie to show how it could have been done, and the other giant monsters are almost engaging.
Especially the mahoosive water buffalo.
But then you have to go to ruin it.
On an island where the creatures we recognize have quietly grown to huge proportions – and a flying dinosaur never identified still exists, because why the hell didn’t huh? – the big bad nasty monster (shown in the trailer) is something of a secret.
I know I’m a little pedant, but if everything else is vaguely connected to the world we know, why the hell does a walking skull hit.
Once again, one gets the impression that no one cared enough to ask the question.
And here lies the whole problem with this film.
Someone somewhere thought, with the movie third Planet imminent, we needed another monkey movie and not a movie by Peter Jackson (but hey, hold the dinosaurs) – even if this one made sense in comparison.
So what we get is a mess of lumps and bobs lined up by a group of people who wish they were somewhere else and are headed by a man who is clearly bitten more than he can chew.
You can really see this in the run-up and not lose anything.
Some movies are so bad that they are actually pretty good. Others are terrible, but you still love them.
Then there is this.
A collection of clichés and bad ideas thrown into a blender that splashed all over the screen by a bad Impressionist Jackson Pollack.